It’s that time of year again, when we start thinking about all the things we are thankful for, a time to spend with loved ones, both family and friends, and start thinking of the new year. As I was going through my mental inventory of all that I am thankful for, which is a huge list, and growing all the time, I couldn’t help but realize how selfish I have been for at least the last 25 years of my life. I am a smoker.
I had a heart attack at the ripe old age of 38. Some of you know that, many of you don’t. Obviously I survived, and I am very thankful for that. But it didn’t get me to quit. At the time, my wife was 9 months pregnant with my son. When I think about all the amazing things that have happened in my life over these last 2 years that I might have missed, it’s just mind boggling. The birth of my son, my daughter’s 1st year of school, her 1st recital, horseback riding lessons, the way my son says “Thank you dada”, my families amazing road trip to see Bob Dylan in Fresno, and then the beautiful car ride to Monterey, the satisfaction I get from my teaching photography at Tri-Community, and getting to watch my amazing students progress their skills and creativity, meeting Jeffery and Nikki and the birth of Faded and Blurred, seeing a light at the end of this tunnel of 9-5 grind, every day I get to spend with my beautiful wife and children, picking up a camera and being able to express myself, meeting some of my heroes, how could I possibly not want that to continue?
Now I have said this before, but I hope to never have to say it again. The picture below is of my very last cigarette. I will have that as soon as this is posted. Again, this letter is being written to myself, and being posted publicly so I can refer to it as often as I need to for a reminder of how truly thankful I am for everything I have, and all of the things going forward that I don’t want to miss. It is also a request to those of you I see often. I need help. Please ask how I’m doing with this. Inquire. Keep an eye out for me. This isn’t an easy task to accomplish, just ask the 40 year old that had a heart attack at 38…
I love my life, I love my wife, I love my children, I love my friends and family, I love my students, I love the Faded and Blurred crew, I love the direction I have taken in the last year, and I don’t want that to end anytime soon.
Congratulations on your tough decision Frank!
ReplyDeleteEven though I’m not a smoker (and get a little pissy at smokers at times—yeah big surprise;-) I heard that nicotine is the most addictive substance known to man—even more than heroin (or so says the great Ozzy Osbourne). I will support you in any way I can.
I really commend you for expressing your love for life (and not just in this entry) and all of us that are involved in it. I’m glad you survived your heart attack, to have met you, that you’re my teacher, and to be your friend—and I want to keep it that way—OK!
Once again, don’t worry my friend I got your back on this. As funny as it sounds (or as society makes it for straight men to feel weird about saying it) I love you too man! There…it takes a real man to say that! Too bad you’re married big boy—JK!!! Had to do it ;-)
John
You can do it, I know you can.
ReplyDeleteGod, Frank...good for you. Let me tell you why I know that you can do this:
ReplyDelete1) Joe's dad quit after being a smoker for 50 YEARS! He did it for his health. He was successful because he changed the habits and routines that involved smoking.
2) My mom quit after being a smoker for over 30 years. The catalyst, my first daughter was born and my mom knew that even second hand smoke on clothes could mean SIDS for a newborn. She did it for love.
3) You have so many people who believe in you and want you to succeed (including me) and you are also doing it for reasons number 1 and 2 above...those are fantastic reasons!
Congratulations and I've got your back.